The one I shared a decade with is profoundly standing on his word to walk away and never look back . . . Kudos as it has been more than a year and no connection in this dimension of physical reality on his part.
So on with my life since then. A break-through in cognitive consciousness and spiritual over-hauling came through in small short sentences during lapses into a dream-state where I can figure things out and live life the way I am supposed to, not by what is demanded or even mandated by my ego. I put those short sentences, sometimes even just a series of words, together and found a dissertation to myself, written by myself, in another life, or so it seems to help make time the essence of healing.
I discovered that I really did not bid the past adieu or goodbye as I still holds part of it, quite precious and dear and the secrets I hold, un-told, are what makes me who I am today.
If you found out that honestly loving yourself for who and what you are is so much harder than loving someone else, how would you feel ?
I suppose with new-found friends, hobbies, inner circuits that need tweaking can only be achieved when you pay attention, that being alone without a partner affords you the opportunity. Instead of embracing the alone-ness, we fear the lonliness . . . This scenario of lonliness defined by a transpersonal foundation can only mean when we feel like this it is because our reserve fuel pumps of good tidings for ourselves, has been run dry by the many, many people we helped throughout the year.
The act of kindness was put forth so effortlessly for others that by the time we needed reserves for us to feel good about something, those were gone. It is not wrong to be selfish (keeping all your reserves for you) as long as your self-servings needs to keep the resources and reserves by manipulation and deceipt, don't rob another person of the absolute full potential to meet joy and good tidings within themself !
In my acts of kindness, I give what I can so I still have some left over for me and in my dreams they and he are appreciative so what I see there I can still hold precious seeing them, sensing who they really are without their ego-ic shackles holding them down.
Here is to "Seeing you for who you really are in your dreams" . . . till next time this is,erica~ the enlightenment advisor
P.S. If you cannot make it into your dreamstate due to insomnia, please don't hesitate to research the effects of kava-kava and experiment with your body, this wonderful natural sleep-aid can deliver.
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